This Town: The dichotomy of Miami

When you are told that nothing else happens anywhere else in America but in Miami, obviously you consider this childhood brain washing until you start travelling. My family started us on our travels very early (3 years old) around the state of Florida and the rest of the United States, primarily by car. The classic road trip has many perks in learning what life is truly like across America.

Be that as it may, it also brings up the point that living in a major city, particularly one that does not embrace one language fully, neither is greatly religious nor is immensely patriotic, can be questionable to the public school education most have endured, placing your hand on your heart and knowing that certain things will be shared all across America.

Miami is uniquely overwhelmed by everyone's version of what this town should be, and many priorities are in line with only the next big group that swoops up the real estate and actually attends its events and visits its establishments. The fact that we agree on the dollar as our currency feels like a minor miracle.

However, we get lucky by some established groups who resiliently cling to their lifestyles - the early birds, the coffee drinkers, the cash-only business. Mock them we may, but sometimes that little criticism places egg on our faces when we need them.

This series is dedicated to describing these little dichotomy that makes this town unique.

1. Sunday morning plumbing - small towns and religiously dominant towns will generally not be open on Sunday, and if they are, it's a matter of when the latest worship service will finish. Little Havana still has the earliest open hardware store in town, where you can find yourself a wall mount faucet still under $50, in stock, and for purchase starting at 8 a.m. This is particularly convenient considering your work shift fashions you between the hours of every other location AND when your leak has turned into a gusher, forcing you to turn the water off at the street level to avoid your dog floating on top of furniture by the time you arrive back.

2. Cuban coffee at any hour - you will find at least one joint open at some point in town that will serve Cuban coffee before the American pot of coffee has been cleaned and prepared in a drip maker. Typically, the spot where it is guaranteed may look like it has the shadiest characters, but don't let that fool you--some of these are hard laborers that finally can get some alone time and chat up a storm about politics in a country they will not return to. And they run around with $100 bills in their pockets, wadded up for use at the moment a lady places an order in a clingy sheath dress. It's fascinating, too, because the candy and the cigars encased next to the espresso machine look 20 years old, but apparently are still consumable when everyone else is getting their sobriety on at 3 a.m.

3. So when do you stop selling alcohol? - Minus bars that require half an hour before closing to stop serving, any other store in Miami can sell alcohol at any hour it's open. I'm serious! Want a beer at 10 am? It's there. Want a mimosa for dinner? If it's for sale, it's yours. I tried to find the law that prevents this, and I remember at one point they tried to pass this and enforce it, but someone must have gotten drunk and forgotten it existed. Any many people I know are grateful.

4. I know a guy that can do it for you cheap - This seems to be the phrase everyone hears and knows that something illegal is gonna happen, but people still keep saying yes to them. The little old lady down the block has internet on her laptop with large font thanks to the guy that she paid $150 to. His promise? She won't have to pay for it but that one time. Apparently cable, internet, phone service, and even electricity are not immune to this crisis. As for the companies that provide service, well, let's just say that some neighborhoods go untapped for service calls. Apparently we can "trust" the guy with the one time service charge if it's a utility.

5. Bars on your windows used to be a fashion statement - I'm dead serious. Many communities in the City of Miami at one point were targets of crime by many sources, culminating at the time of the Mariel boat lift and the 1980's drug trade. At one point, crime seemed inevitable, so people placed bars on their windows. Some had enough money to elaborate their protection: twisting, spiraling rounds or curving tulip points of wrought iron. It was even a challenge between neighbors who was going to get the bars that swing out in case of a fire, since the majority of the first ones were solid structures. People didn't just protect windows; they went for full front gates at the property level topped off with porch protection. These tacky structures became obsolete when criminals got in the house through jalousey windows or just made friends with the guy inside for $100. Remember, they were installed from the outside, not making them impervious to the most viscious tampering. The sign of crime rates reducing is the removal of these creatures as permanent fixtures.